Feb 20, 2023
Pleasure is an essential part of what it is to be human and what it is to be alive. People who come to see me professionally are typically in pain. In this context, we need to understand that the absence of pain is not pleasure. The absence of pain is a type of neutrality—and neutrality is not satisfying. What, then, is pleasure? Where and how do we find it? Asking yourself these questions and exploring this topic, first and foremost, requires that you feel safe.
So, for the sake of this discussion, I’m assuming that you are not currently working through trauma or dealing with an abusive relationship. I’m assuming that you’ve cleared away a lot of clutter and you’re ready to allow for pleasure. You’re ready to shift out of neutral.
As women and girls, we’re indoctrinated to be caregivers and nurturers. This runs counter to the idea of seeking pleasure. Our “managerial mind” spends so much time on life maintenance (for ourselves and for those around us) that we hardly have time to think about pleasure. But, by asking yourself what you want—and by asking the question over and over—you actually develop new neural pathways that make it easier to DO that thing.
To make room for pleasure and to make it a reality, we need to rewire our thoughts. So, let’s start there.
What do you really, really want?
Okay, now do it.
Thank you for listening to the Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs podcast. As always, feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or experiences that you want to share. If you liked this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. Your feedback helps me increase the value of the program for you and makes it easier for other listeners to find us.
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REFERENCES
Spare by Prince Harry
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté, MD with Daniel Maté
Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy
Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey
A Very Punchable Face by Colin Jost
Betsy B. Murphy on Instagram, author of Anatomy of an Orgasm
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The “Don’t Cut Your Own Bangs” podcast is edited by Marilou Marosz.